Speaking To My Soul

– Full Transparency: I completely forgot I had a blog for a few years. Life just started running and didn’t stop. You’ve missed a lot re: work, life, mental health, but I’m going to try to come back in bursts as I think of things to share –

Here are some song lyrics that spoke to me this year for no particular reason. Some reminisce on life but most are just realllly good song lyrics. Here we go:

Nothing New – Taylor Swift

I know someday I'm gonna meet her - it's a fever dream
The kind of radiance you only have at 17
She'll know the way, and then she'll say she got the map from me
I'll say I'm happy for her, then I'll cry myself to sleep

IM SORRY BUT WHY does this make me wanna cry into my coffee on a Sunday morning? Does anybody else ever want to talk to their 17 year old self and just inject their optimism into your life? No? Just me? Cool.

Stick Season – Noah Kahan

And I'll dream each night of some version of you
That I might not have, but I did not lose

This one hits. Hard. I think this one actually hits harder when you take it out of the context of the song (re: a romantic relationship that ended) and think about it in a bigger variety of situations. Loss of a loved one, an ended friendship, people who have grown apart, etc. Oh did I mention this list will probably make you cry? Probs a good time to insert that warning so here you go.

Unconditional (Lookout Kid) – Arcade Fire

Look out kid, trust your mind
But you can't trust it everytime
You know it plays tricks on you
And it don't give a damn if you are happy or you're sad
But if you've lost it, don't feel bad
'Cause it's alright to be sad

I just thought the song was sweet until this verse hit and I had an existential crisis on my way to work one morning. Enjoy!

This Is Me Trying – Taylor Swift

 They told me all of my cages were mental
So I got wasted like all my potential
And my words shoot to kill when I'm mad
I have a lot of regrets about that
I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere
Fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here
Pouring out my heart to a stranger
But I didn't pour the whiskey

Oh you didn’t realize this was going to be a love letter to Taylor Swift? If you dislike where this is going, you might need to exit while you’re ahead.

The part that really hit me was the first two lines, but the whole verse really ties it together. Isolate the top 2 lines for a second:

They told me all of my cages were mental
So I got wasted like all my potential

If every burnt out formerly “gifted” kid hearing this for the first time didn’t stop in their tracks and stare at the wall for an hour…IDK. I’m happy for you? Because I absolutely did.

The rest of the verse just completes the picture:

I was so ahead of the curve, the curve became a sphere
Fell behind on my classmates, and I ended up here

I felt this one too. There’s a point where your definition of “success” in life shifts (maybe many points??) and you have to adjust with it…sometimes breaking up all the things you were “taught” made you special or ahead or likable when you were in school (spoiler: it was all Social Anxiety and a knack for pattern recognition and problem solving). Who is actually ready to be an adult? Anyone? Bueller?

All Too Well (10 Minute Version)

The idea you had of me, who was she?
A never-needy, ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you

You KNEW this was coming okay?! And the 10 min version is required because this line didn’t exist in the shortened version. You’re lucky I only picked ONE LINE. Might change my mind later – we’ll see. I’m writing this as I think of things to include – I’ve never been a planner. Trust the process.

Everyone is a caricature of themselves at a particular time in everyone else’s heads. Outside of family or your best friend, try to summarize someone you know in 3 sentences. It ALMOST feels possible. Someone you used to know? You can do it in 5 words or less.

Everyone everyone everyone can do this to you. Or to the memory of you. All that personal branding you worked on in your 20’s at your job or with adult friends? Think of the people who knew you before. That’s all they’ll ever know. This is why you compare yourself to that 17 yr old you from lyric #1 – you’re doing it to yourself too.

I know this became a therapy session real quick, but this line left me reeling for days, okay? DAYS.

Vienna – Billy Joel

Slow down you crazy child
You're so ambitious for a juvenile
But then if you're so smart tell me
Why are you still so afraid?

Did I just quote you the first line of a song? Yes. Yes I did. Also I’m aware I’m a late bloomer to Billy J over here – I’ve never actually listened to this one before 2022 slowed me down. The entire song should be up here because it paints a fantastic picture you want to listen to on repeat until you’re done crying and immediately go book a 2 week vacation to Europe.

I also like this line:

Slow down you're doing fine
You can't be everything you want to be before your time

When I’m working late for no reason, can someone just shout this one at me?

Keep Your Head Up Princess – Anson Seabra

So keep your head up, princess, before your crown falls
Know these voices in your head will be your downfall
I know it gets so hard but you don't got far to go

I know we’re all seeing a pattern here. Mental Health. Personal Identity. Self-Talk. All of it is pretty representative of the isolation thoughts a lot of us had during the pandemic. At least it has been a lot more aggressive for me, since I’ve spent a lot of time by myself at home. Maybe they have always been there, and I’m finally seeing it all laid out? Not sure. But still, music has been pointing it out a lot more than usual lately.

I’m sure I’ll think of more and edit this post later, but this is it for now! Let me know if you have others that speak to you the same way in the comments!

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